I never claimed to be the sharpest knife in the drawer

This blog has "ADHD" in the title because that's what the psychoneurologist or neuropsychologist diagnosed me with a few years ago.

I'm not entirely sold on the idea that I have ADHD -- you might have noticed, I'm not particularly hyper -- but I am definitely aware that something's a little off.

I fit the profile -- I lose, misplace, leave behind, shed and otherwise inadvertently liberate myself from valuable personal belongings daily, if not hourly. The only reason I got a landline was to call my cell phone when it gets lost.  I'm not only a procrastinator and chronically tardy, but I even exited the womb a few weeks late. (My poor mother.)

Looking around the kitchen, I see the spice drawer open, the junk drawer and two cupboard doors standing open; today's salad debris spread out across the counter, a capless bottle of vinegar, the top of a solar yard light (in the middle of being washed and de-rusted), an open tin of *General Foods International Vanilla Caramel Latte mix (it doesn't even pay to close it because three seconds later, I'm pouring another cup); a drill bit and a chuck key from a miniblind project; the TV remote; a stack of notebooks, notes and work-related tree products; a freelance paycheck (anemic) that arrived today and five peaches that are in the stage of ripeness somewhere between hard-as-baseballs and liqueur.

In the next room sits a bin of hardware and parts from miniblinds on the floor, along with the miniblind I half-installed last week (so peeping toms would be spared of my bad-housekeeping example) before something distracted me. Oh, and a cat with half a haircut.

I can't go anywhere new without getting lost, spent my first 39 years incapable of reading maps, and simply getting ready to do leave the house takes me five times as long as it takes anyone else. A blind quadriplegic with a two-legged service hound and a wheelchair with no wheels would beat my @ss out the door. (Plus I end up coming back two or three times for forgotten sunglasses, water, etc. before actually backing the sedan out of the driveway.)

My two terriers just snicker whenever I back out the door with a 'ba-bye,' because they know damn well they'll see me bumbling back in a couple more times, muttering expletives, before actually leaving them in peace. Somethings I think they place bets on it.

So is this ADHD? Or just D?

*No graft has been taken in return for this product-placement mention. However, if you are listening, General Foods International Coffees, I will happily remove the asterisk if you care to change that.