Baby, I was born this way?

A loser. Yes, that's it. I'm a born loser.

The other day, on my birthday, the very last day I could renew my driver's license before it expired, I went to the local DMV. Which was fun, don't get me wrong. I love to people-watch and wonder about their lives.

In order to get the new federal I.D. that goes into effect in 2020, at which time it will cost $14 but is free if you apply for it when you renew your driver's license, you need to bring your birth certificate, social security card, passport, old driver's license, etc. I emptied our lockbox into a fresh, new, padded manila envelope and took it with me to the DMV. (Did you know the D stands for Division?)
Quit getting Distracted, Mea.

They told me the yellowed piece of paper I thought was my birth certificate was not, in fact, my official birth certificate. I needed one with an official seal. They told me to truck downtown to the other side of the river, stand in line, and get the real deal. So obediently I went home across the river and dug through a bunch of old, old, old (like kindergarten old) folders full of report cards. Out popped the official certificate, and off I trundled back across the river to the DMV, grateful at not having to stand in line at another government building.

After that three-hour cruise, I couldn't resist the thrift shop across the street from the DMV and lugged home two garbage bags and a suitcase full of stuff.That night for giggles, my mate and I looked at all the dippy photos in those ancient school files. No birth certificate, but surely it would surface.

Two days later, I went through piles of files and garbage bags, and the manila envelope didn't show up. I uprooted the house much of the day yesterday, then as a desperate measure, called the DMV. Which doesn't have a local number. So you need to call the state DMV.

They called me back a few hours later and said yeah, they had my stuff.

Hurrah! A small victory! But hours (and dignity) lost in the search.

Today I hope to get around to schlepping across the river to pick it up.