Life's a real gas, all right

How to describe this particular ADD feeling?

Dear ADDers, I had to stop in the middle of my retail project to write about this sensation, because it seems like this is distinctly ADD that's rearing its pretty little head.

Speaking of heads, mine feels odd. Emptyish, like it's filled with gas instead of gray matter and other gross stuff. Not liquid like gasoline-gas, but some gaseous element ... is gas an element? I guess an element can be a gas but all gases aren't elements. I spaced out during high school chemistry.

Something like helium. Yes, that's it. Helium. So my head feels like an empty, dried gourd filled with this gas, and my neck is the only thing anchoring this gourd onto my shoulders, otherwise it would fly away. Maybe it has -- my brain is MIA.

Seriously, folks, it feels like nothing's in this cabeza (or shall we say calabaza). Yet at the same time, it feels heavy, like a 20-pound pumpkin.

And my eyes seem to be going in different directions inside of my head. Not literally, but that's the sensation, like balls are shooting out of the back of my eyeballs into my head. One's rolling left, inside my head, and the other's rolling right, like those illustrations of electrons and protons circling a nucleus.
 

... only there's no nucleus in my head, just those little balls flying round in different directions.

Can anyone relate to this, or is this just the freakiest damn thing anyone's ever heard of?

It's like the protons and electrons -- instead of having different charges so they attract each other -- have the same charge so they repel each other and go round and round in circles, orbiting nothing, really, because if the nucleus is there, it's tiny.

So I'm waiting now for an Adderall to kick in and make those electrons and protons gravitate to the nucleus and have a creative powwow together. It seems to be taking forever, though.

In the meanwhile, I'm at work in my family's store, tasked with the project of generally updating merch displays. Which is fun; I love rearranging stuff. But I can't think or focus and instead start one project only to be drawn to another three minutes later. (Like posting this, for example.)

I just want to hide in a corner on the floor with my head between my knees until some sort laboratory explosion of ideas and thoughts blasts me back into the present.