Instead of hunting for Easter eggs ...

I spent the morning looking for my glasses. At least a good share of the morning. Finally found them peering out at me from atop the coffee maker.

I'm "on the road" right now. Not literally; in fact, I'm sitting at my parents' den table. They're in Florida right now, basking in the sun, whilst I stay home with their two obnoxious male dogs and my brother's obnoxious male dog, for a total of three OMDs. One kept me up all night barking because his arthritis has practically crippled him, and the poor thing couldn't move for about 20 hours. I finally hoisted him up with a scarf as a leverage device and got him outside this morning, where he remains, because he won't use the makeshift ramp I made for him.

Anyway, over the last few days, I've spent practically half a day searching for misplaced stuff. Yesterday, en route on the 100-foot walk from the parents' dining room table to my car in their garage, I managed to misplace their garage door opener. I must have emptied out my purse and totebag six times. Finally, it surfaced on the seat of the car. Pfffeww.

That was how I arrived at my parents' place of work, which I'm more or less tending while they're gone: flustered, annoyed with myself and with my hair standing on end from all of the fruitless tearing at it that occurred during the search.

WHEN I ARRIVED BACK HOME afterward, I realized I couldn't locate the USB cord for my MP3 player. (Catastrophe on the scale of Katrina.) Again, the totebag, laptop bag and handbag were dumped upside down and their contents sifted like a baker with his cake flour. Not once, not twice, but at least four times each. No sign of it.

Searched the car: Nothing.

Searched my pockets: Nothing.

It has become physically impossible to walk dogs without MP3 entertainment. So at 9:30 p.m., I headed back to my parents' place of work downtown. Still nothing.

Got home, parked the car in the garage, went inside, vowing to buy another cord at Walmart the next day.

Searched the car one more time. Voila! There it was under my shoe on the garage floor! Must have leapt out of the car when I alighted it.

NOW GUESS WHAT IS THE PROBLEM. I'll give you three guesses and the first two don't count. But it's probably obvious: My MP3 player has slipped out of my periphery.

Aaaaah, well, it's Easter. Just pretend these are adult Easter eggs.

No calories, at least.