I'm leaving town for 48 hours and have spent the last six packing. I'm running around in a full-court sweat. Upstairs to get this, downstairs to get that, outside to the car, inside, outside, upstairs, downstairs. You get the picture.
Actually, I am more organized and clear-headed than normal, as I have taken my ADHD meds today. But the whole upheaval stresses me out, and I'm ready to scream.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Google ADHD-sense
Well, this stinks. I have been trying to sign up for Google AdSense so I can make .0003 of a penny per decade.
But it's not working, and I am not understanding some of the stuff they're asking for. I feel like such a dork. I tried last night and again tonight, and it gave me a message that there was already a user with my name. And I know I didn't finish last night, because I fell asleep in the middle of it. And there aren't any ads on my site, so it didn't take.
They ask you repeatedly to promise that you won't sign in and click on the ads under false names, so now I'm paranoid that the Google peeps think I'm trying to do something nefarious.
I'm not smart enough to be nefarious.
But it's not working, and I am not understanding some of the stuff they're asking for. I feel like such a dork. I tried last night and again tonight, and it gave me a message that there was already a user with my name. And I know I didn't finish last night, because I fell asleep in the middle of it. And there aren't any ads on my site, so it didn't take.
They ask you repeatedly to promise that you won't sign in and click on the ads under false names, so now I'm paranoid that the Google peeps think I'm trying to do something nefarious.
I'm not smart enough to be nefarious.
RIP, Mr. Froo T. Fly
I'm feeling bad for this poor fruit fly that lost his little life by diving into my hot cocoa.
Mr. Fruit fly, I'm sorry for you and your fruit fly family, and if I had known this would be your final flight, I would have made sure to get some Irish whiskey for the cocoa, so you would have died happy.
Mr. Fruit fly, I'm sorry for you and your fruit fly family, and if I had known this would be your final flight, I would have made sure to get some Irish whiskey for the cocoa, so you would have died happy.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
I love a blizzard
Not the Dairy Queen kind. But the snow kind, the kind where traffic slows down (preferably stops), roads aren't plowed, and nobody dares to make a sound. It's completely silent outside, and outside is white velvet.
I love the blizzard, the storm, the fog emergency, etc. because it reflects what's going on in my brain -- a cavalcade of fog.
I'm off Cymbalta now. Doctor Tiny put me on that to help with my purported, probable and undiagnosed fibromyalgia, but it didn't do anything other than drain my wallet of $160 a month. So now I'm back on fluoxetine. I'm taking gabapentin (trade name Neurontin) for nerve pain. Apparently this is a low dose, and my new doctor, a pain specialist, says it should be doubled.
I must say, I've been operating at a functional level the last two days -- cranking out stories, thinking relatively clearly, structuring the stories ahead of time in my head in a fairly functional way. Have been taking half a tablet of generic Adderall three times a day instead of the prescribed dose, which is twice that. Maybe that's the difference.Today, for example, I spent 11 hours on a story I hadn't planned on writing. The editor just appealed to me out of desperation and I capitulated. Anyway, I'm only making $150 on the story, so the 11 hours comes out to less than $10 an hour.
Over the weekend, when I was withdrawing from Cymbalta, I was a space case -- an empty hollow head on a post.
I love the blizzard, the storm, the fog emergency, etc. because it reflects what's going on in my brain -- a cavalcade of fog.
I'm off Cymbalta now. Doctor Tiny put me on that to help with my purported, probable and undiagnosed fibromyalgia, but it didn't do anything other than drain my wallet of $160 a month. So now I'm back on fluoxetine. I'm taking gabapentin (trade name Neurontin) for nerve pain. Apparently this is a low dose, and my new doctor, a pain specialist, says it should be doubled.
I must say, I've been operating at a functional level the last two days -- cranking out stories, thinking relatively clearly, structuring the stories ahead of time in my head in a fairly functional way. Have been taking half a tablet of generic Adderall three times a day instead of the prescribed dose, which is twice that. Maybe that's the difference.Today, for example, I spent 11 hours on a story I hadn't planned on writing. The editor just appealed to me out of desperation and I capitulated. Anyway, I'm only making $150 on the story, so the 11 hours comes out to less than $10 an hour.
Oh well, it's been lower. I wish I could crank out a story in two hours. I did when I worked for a newspaper. Then again, those stories were not of the length and depth that I'm writing now. I'm doubling and even tripling the typical word count for a newspaper story.
Still, I nay be working at top speed, but I am still too slow for my reckoning. I wish and hope and want and aim and INTEND to be capable of writing faster.
Over the weekend, when I was withdrawing from Cymbalta, I was a space case -- an empty hollow head on a post.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
No surprise
It's been nearly two months since my last entry. (I forgot how to sign in.) :(
OK, that and I have been a tad distracted by the whole budget debate in Wisconsin. Having the radio on all day while I'm trying to work has not led to rapid writing.
Things are not going any better for me -- I'm still brain-numb and procrastinating everything. The lights are on but no one's home.
I'm walking more, and that seems to get blood flow to the brain. I need all the blood flow my brain can get. It also helps that it's been sunny the last few days. The grayness of winter had me dragging around like a bag of cement with feet.
My doctor suspects I have fibromyalgia, and so now I wonder if this whole space-cadette thing could be what they call "fibro fog." I feel like my head is hollow and has nothing in it. I have a skull, cheekbones, a nose, eyes, face....but inside my head it's just an echoing chamber, like a gourd. Every once in a while, a dried seed will rattle around.
Last week I lost a mitten and a doorknob.
OK, that and I have been a tad distracted by the whole budget debate in Wisconsin. Having the radio on all day while I'm trying to work has not led to rapid writing.
Things are not going any better for me -- I'm still brain-numb and procrastinating everything. The lights are on but no one's home.
I'm walking more, and that seems to get blood flow to the brain. I need all the blood flow my brain can get. It also helps that it's been sunny the last few days. The grayness of winter had me dragging around like a bag of cement with feet.
My doctor suspects I have fibromyalgia, and so now I wonder if this whole space-cadette thing could be what they call "fibro fog." I feel like my head is hollow and has nothing in it. I have a skull, cheekbones, a nose, eyes, face....but inside my head it's just an echoing chamber, like a gourd. Every once in a while, a dried seed will rattle around.
Last week I lost a mitten and a doorknob.
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