Looking for things is a full-time job

OK, I'm really having issues here. 

Ever since I got back from my trip down to Piddleyville, I've been searching for one thing or another. It's really getting ridiculous. My whole life is an Easter egg hunt.

Right now it's a library audio book on CD that's disappeared. Not the whole set of 5 CDs, just one that escaped its case and got separated from the rest of the crew. 

I remember very distinctly that, as I was packing up my stuff down in Piddleyville, I put it inside another audio book case and put THAT in my designated, organized "media bag." This media bag held all the books and audio books I brought down there and all the magazines and newspapers. All together. Like with like. Just like those nitwit organizers preach. I did what I was supposed to, like an organized person. Look where it got me.

So what went wrong? I don't know.

I shook out all of my books upside-down, took every CD out of every case to make sure two weren't hiding in one slot. I looked in my car, my clothing, the lining of my coat. I even searched under those little stiff things on the bottom of every cloth shopping bag I took down there.

See, the audio book, "Rumpole and the Primrose Path," is due Saturday. I've renewed and re-renewed and have maxed-out the number of renewals on it. 

This same thing happened last year: I lost two library audio book CDs and had to replace those, for $10 apiece. 

Two other things that went missing: my umbrella, which I left in a church 70 miles away. At least I know where it is. 

And a new USB cord I bought en route to Piddleyville to assist in downloading my library audio books. (A necessity because THE RADIO STATION DOWN THERE SUCKS and it's impossible to tune in NPR.)

My USB process has been slow, so I figured a deluxe $13 cord would do the trick. 

Now it's nowhere.

But wait, there's more. In between the realization of the missing disc and the last stupid thing I lost last, as documented in the last post (glasses? garage door opener?), I misplaced a rent check for $800 from my tenants. You would think one would have been mindful where one put that. 

Nope. 

This took several  hours out of one day last week before I found it in my pen case. (I knew I put it somewhere "special," I just couldn't remember where "special" was.) My Pilot P700s are definitely special as they can't be bought in actual stores. 

And so today I've spent the entire day searching for that stupid missing disc -- way more time than the $10 replacement fee warrants. The catch is, I TOOK AN ADDERALL TODAY. I'm medicated and SUPPOSED to be functioning like a grownup.

Instead, half my brain feels like it's yawning, and the other feels like a ball of yarn whose loose end is being yanked tight, so that the yarn ball is being squeezed into knots.

Anyway, I should get back to my actual work -- the kind that pays, albeit pretty feebly. Wonder if the IRS would mind if I deducted the $10 replacement disc, the $13 USB cord, and my time searching for them?

Until later ....

Someone asked me, "What do you do in your free time?"

HA HA HA HA.

I'm laughing not because I'm the typical overstressed, overscheduled, over-appointmented, never-say-no-to-any-committee type of Superwoman you hear about. 

I'm not. 

I've learned that I'm not to be trusted to show up to meetings on time or get things accomplished or benefit an organization in any way, so the word no is a key member of my vocabulary.

No, I'm laughing because I spent "spring break" down in my hometown, taking care of my parents' house, business and three dogs while they and my brother and his family spent 18 days in Hollywood, Fla.

Since packing for my "staycation" down in Piddlyville is another story for another blog entry, I'll spare you.

I did think that, since my workload at the family store would be shared by two other employees despite its being open seven days a week, I'd have plenty of time and energy left over to read several back issues of Writers Digest (catching up on a subscription I had in 2005), prepare my tax documents for the accountant, work on my novel and see a friend at least once.

Ha ha ha ha!

Here is an example of four days in the life of Mea Scatternoggen that totally illustrate what I did in my free time:

• Tuesday, I lost my mom's garage door opener -- searched hours, ripping apart my car, the garage, my tote bags and handbag -- and, just before dark fall, found it in the alley behind the store. 
• Wednesday I went to a funeral 25 miles away for my partner's aunt, and while riding with him in the convoy, left my keys to the store and my car in his car. So they ended up at home with him at home 70 miles north. Fortunately there were spares lying around my parents' house.
• Thursday I lost my glasses and spent the next 50 hours searching for them. They later turned up in a laundry basket full of shop towels I was laundering for the business.
• Friday morning, as I drove in to the alley to park my car, I saw my big pink foam lumbar support thingy sitting there in the parking space, where it had evidently rolled out of my car, completely unnoticed by me.

So ... What did I do in my down time while my family went sightseeing and exploring the beaches and shops of Hollywood Beach?

I went on a veritable hunting safari for my brain ... and concluded some lost items are better replaced than found.